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”“Let me clarify. With one of them, it’s not even within the realm of possibility. She’s a recovering rape victim. We’re friends. Anything beyond that isn’t even something that I could think about, and she certainly isn’t ready. With both of the others, there’s at least a possibility, but I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”“But you’ve clearly thought about it with me, true?”“I think about sex all the time! And yes, of course, I have thought about it with you. I’m pretty sure it will be amazing. And the same thing applies. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve wrecked several relationships by having sex when the girl and I weren’t on the same page. Part of that was me listening to what they said instead of being sure what they meant. Part of it was me not being able to commit because of Birgit. And part was because sex changes things in unpredictable ways.”“And you figured this all out yourself?” Joyce asked.“Well, experience has been a cruel teacher. I also have a couple. (That's where I got the idea for our hit song later on, "Waitin' For Leroy.") But I am now getting ahead of myself.So, anyway, I walked in and decided to give Homer a chance to explain. And here he looked up at me standing there with my empty revolver in my hand and he screamed "Oh shit." He then jumped up and dove out through a closed mobile home window in the front room and was running bare assed naked down middle of the road.I never really had any idea what a long old Johnson he had on him till then. I mean it was way too big to be legal on a white man. He sure was a sight, skinny bare butt showing, knobby knees pumping high enough to almost hit him in the chin and his big, long dammed old pecker flapping from side to side and bouncing against his knees. I was going to have to tell him as how my little twenty-two revolver was empty as my cousin Archibald's head. He ought to see the humor in something like that. If he didn't, he should have.Then I looked at my sweet darling bride.
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